oak abe abe!
good news. post mortem will be held this saturday as BB CSC. yessa! finally! heh. masa untuk melepaskan gian. haha. anyway. yday was super fun. i went on a date with darling dayah. well. supposedly it was a one on one date. but it turned out to be that i bumped into fellow Nadim-ians. they had an outing on that same day. heh. only one word. FUN. the first part was mendak. but as the sun starts to set, things get more interesting. haha. shall not further elaborate more on that shall we? and to those who were there, please. what ends there ends there hor. jangan pulak terbawak2 sampai ke dalam mimpi ke, realiti ke ok? hahahaha. siak ah mai. let's not get too excited here shall we? =P k lah. the day ended very nicely yday. i never got sesat. things were looking great. only that its been a while since i last spent time with dear lahling. hmm. nvm. we'll have our own date later on ok? =) oh. n i'm sooo super bored at home now. lahling went fishing, parents are out n i'm at home doing my script. oh well. let's get back to work now shall we? laters peoples.

``Mat Jenin

OK. 3RD POST = BOREDNESS
this is just to say that BABY Mishary has got his first teeth! at last. after more than 10 months, he's finally gotten a first teeth! heh. i love u, Mishary. =) k dah. tu je. =P

``Mat Jenin

just when i thought.

oak abe abe.
its been more than a week Nadim ended. but now i just realised. i have not gotten over it. yet. gosh. how i missed those trainings. how i missed those dances. how i missed those songs. just when i thought i was moving along fine. idiot. i hate this ya know. i hate the part where memories by memories start to flood your mind; the funny moments we get scolded for doing something stupid. the happy moments when we managed to sing everything in tune. the tough moments when people started to go sick one at a time. the angry moments when some people sabotaged the whole team and caused the whole team to flop. and especially. the sad moment when we put up our last show and everything ends. *sighs* how come this is so hard? it wasnt that hard before. god. i cant believe myself. i am not moving on. i am still browsing through the pictures and videos of nadim every night before i go to sleep. i am still waking up each and every day, anticipating that there will be training at rp. n i am still saying n singing my lines throughout the whole day, where ever i may be. damn. i need to be strong. i'll get out of my mind if i dont get over this whole 'nadim' thing. nadim-ians. u guys really created that lasting impact in my life. much more than anyone ever did. as yet. i missed u guys. i really do. ='(

``Mat Jenin

aku tak boleh terima yang kau mencintai dia dan bukan aku.

dan aku masih tak boleh terima kenyataan itu hingga kini.

kenapa?

haruskah aku bertanya?

``Mat Jenin

i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you.

I HATE YOU, idiot.

PERIOD.

oak abe abe!
heh. hello people. i missed my blog. i missed blogging. and. i missed Nadim. yes. we had our last nadim performance yesterday. it was so touching. i felt super sad. after all those tireless training and intensive polishing, i knew it was going to be hard to end this. and it was. at the end of the show, i became more touched when the kids cried their hearts out because it was their last show day. see. if they can feel the lost why cant we? of course everyone else did. nevertheless i am proud of every one who made the performance a success. yes we get scolded. yes we complain. yes we make mistakes. but it was all for the better. i'll miss the bujangga dara. i'll miss the bujangga teruna. i'll miss my beloved MCHQ. i'll miss the budak-budak. i'll miss the orang gaujapuri. thanks you guys for making a difference in my life. this definitely does end my year well. =) ok. below is the video that i managed to record. from yesterday's news. luckily i reached home just in time to record. i guess at that point of time everyone else is still at victoria theatre helping the set crew. hurhur.

pictures from nadim will be uploaded to my friendster. NADIM-ians, if u want those pictures just leave me ur email and i'll send it to u. k people. more updates later.

ZASSS!

``Mat Jenin

oak abe abe!
hello ppl of the world. i am happy to announce that orders for the tickets can start coming in now. so do visit our WEBSITE or inform me to book ur tickets. please come down and support us. we will promise u our best performance. =)

much love, crew bisikan nadim 08.

oak abe abe!
slmt hari raya aidiladha kepada semua kaum muslimin yang menyambutnye. hee.
sebenar2 nye saye sedang boring di sini. jadi mule lah ke-merepek-an saye ni ye. heh. pertama tama saye ingin menyampaikan dedikasi ini kepada Yang Berbahagia Encik Zulkifli Hassan. ini kerana dia membuat saye menjadi mabuk kepayang dengan tidak berjumpa saye selama beberape jam ye, tuan-tuan dan puan puan.. beberape jam.

haiya! lahling ah! saye rinduuuu sangat kat awak.. tolong lerr angkat telefon.. saye tau awak msaih tengah tido tapi saye peduli ape. angkat telefon horr. heh. =P


ok dah. btw people. datang lah tengok bisikan nadim pada 20 dan 21 dec ye. nak ticket? call/msg saye. setidak-tidaknye orang2 yang ade berkenaan dgn pementasan ini. terima kasih!

``Mat Jenin

random update

oak abe abe! here's a video of this baby boy. to tell u the truth, its magical how i've seen him grow up for the past months. gee. hurhur. aniwae. not much updates actually. only one word can best describe me now. NADIM. yeah. thats all.

now here's a video of lahling. i told u about the hot seat activity before right? well here it is. at last. they managed to hit lahling's soft spot and made him cry. yaay! hee. well. on the other hand, i feel super sad when he had to open up about what we thought was his oh-so-boring life. [and girl. if ur reading take a good look at this video and tell me what u think.] to lahling. dont worry about anything. i trust u and i believe in u. that's all that matters now right? =) *ps. u r super sweet that day. thanks baby.*

``Mat Jenin

updates

OAK ABE ABE!
HELLOOOO PEOPLE OF THE WORLDS!

i've not be updating lately ey. its actually because i went to camp. and i came home yesterday. hurhur. and i only have one thing to say. it was superb! it was SUPER fun, SUPER tough, SUPER gruelling and SUPER exhausting. too much happened until i dont know where to start. hmm. let's just highlight the main events during the camp hor. the most sucky experience is the first activity of the camp. fallback. someone has to fall back on the canvas that the rest of us are holding while standing up on the bench's table. why i call it sucky? because i let lahling fall. yes. i let him fall. when he fell back i didnt manage to hold on to the canvas because apparently he was too heavy. ok lah. he's not heavy. its only that i didnt grab the canvas tightly enough. haiya. that incident changed my mood for the rest of the day. i stopped trusting myself and i wouldnt let anyone else trust me. lahling. soly hor. wa tala singaja. veli soly hor. oh yes. another MAJOR activity i had to go through is the hot seat. i have to reveal and defend myself towards the facts and lies they bombard at me. too bad for me, they managed to hit my weak spot. hint. about my relationship with lahling now and before. idiot.

ok. next memorable experience is the combat game. because of this game every single one of the campers had to suffer at least a minor cut or ache. for my group, SUTRAPONS, we had to duck all the way across the carpark, tiptoe to the next flagged pole, leopard crawl all the way from one end of the beach to the other, by the shore, and then roll from the starting the the mud patch top the other. rule of the game? dont let the other team or the facilitators see u. yes it is FUN. but GRUELLING as well. hah. i endured man! wohoo. achievement or what. haha. there were also other activities such as the 4 pointer game. which hafiz took part in, in replacement of zahidah.

alah. too many things lah. and i'm SUPER lazy to type. haha. overall. camp was superb. again i say. superb. siape2 yang tak datang tu, rugi OIII. anyway. right after camp yesterday i had to follow lahling to put back all his stuff at home or other ppl's home. and of which leaves me no time to go back to my house before heading off to nadim at RP. hmm. yeah. that's it i guess. haha. oh oh. i got to know RAIHANNAH is actually taking part in nadim. COOL OR WHAT? haha. yessa. boleh bully. =P ok dah. that's it for now. i wanna go siap for nadim later.


dear lahling. thanks. whatever u tried to do really assured me that u are trying ur best. i know. thanks again. i love u. =)

``Mat Jenin

oak abe abe!
haiya haiya haiya. last minute note ah. NADIM AT 3 AH. RP AH. HAIYA. GILA LAH TU. otey ah ppl. no updates hor. post ini hanya untuk sekadar release tension. kuang kuang kuang. kekeke. zassss ppl.

``Mat Jenin

Singapore Flyer

oak abe abe!
my last few days were superb. my nadim character is finally finalised and moving. i've started studying geog. n yesterday i went on the SINGAPORE FLYER baby. yessa. at last. haha. the view was unnaturally breathtaking. now i believe it when they say u can see Indonesia from wayyy up there. oh yeah. i went on the SF with my beloved family. hee. then after this we went to bedok corner to eat before heading home. wow. maam dah lama gitu tak keluar as one whole BIG family. huhu. well. let's just let the pictures do the taking shall we?

[edit]

haiya. sorry ah. something wrong with my blogger. and it made me lazy to upload more. so if i have time i'll upload in the next post hor. =)
oh yes. btw. i lost my hp. well. i kinda left it somewhere but nevermind that. so please. if u wanna contact me, sms me thru my old number. the one u guys had before this. and when i get my new number, i'll msg u guys hor. esp to all my 'ahli-kembang-lidah', [hahahaha. siak ah hayati.] please msg me about anything u have to clarify. i feel lost kalau korang tak msg saye. macam takde hala tuju gitu. hurhur. oak abe abe. to be continued...

``Mat Jenin

credits to Muney

1) Explain your relationship status:
- Attached. && loving it.
.
2) Name a lyric from the last song you listened to:
- "for all the times you stood by me, for all the truth that you made me see....." =)
.
3) What did you wear today?
- clothes?
.
4) Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
- contact lenses.
.
5) How many windows are open on your computer?
- one.
.
6) What are you doing after this?
- going out for nadim training.
.
7) Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
- LANGKAWI. hee.
.
8) Do you like to cuddle?
- VERY much.
.
9) Which one of your cousins is closest to you in age?
- Illyana. gosh. now that u've mentioned it, i just noticed. its been more than a year since i last saw her. gee.
.
10) Do you like someone? Does his/her name start with A, B, D, K, M, C, or J?
- yes. his name starts with T. and then A. and then U and then F and then I and then ........
.
11) Do you like hugs?
- YES!
.
12) Are you a loud person?
- err. no? ok bedek. a bit lah.
.
13)Are you wearing underwear right now?
- uhuh. like duh.

.
14) Look to your left, what do you see?
- the mirror. damn i'm selekeh now.
.
15) What is one thing you would love to happen tomorrow?
- get Awang Belanga's admin settled.
.
16) Would your parents be mad if you came home smashed?
- hmm. based on experience, i guess so.
.
17) Have you ever had a crush on your siblings friend?
- i think so. hee.
.
18) Does it matter to you if your bf/gf smokes?
- yes it does matter. a lot. but luckily he doesnt. =))

.
19) Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?
- err. i dont know. but i really do hope so.
.
20) Is there a guy/girl that knows everything or mostly every thing about you?
- My twin sister. my ex.
.
21) Who was that last person you had a phone call longer than 7 minutes?
- my french tomato. huhu.
.
22) How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
- Rarely. its bad i know.
.
23) Last serious hug?
- last week. saturday night. i remembered. heh.
.
24) Would you ever dye your hair blonde?
- NOOOO! ugly or what sey.
.
25) Is something bothering you?
- yes. the weather.
.
26) Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?
- ooh. yes yes. my french tomato. my ex.
.
27) Do you believe that you can change for someone?
- that is if that person would want to change for me.
.
28) What time you wake up this morning?
- 6 am. what the heck was i thinking?

.
29) Would you go back in time to change something?
- this is the one thing i want and wish for every single day.
.
30) Is it hard leaving people behind?
- yes. it is. esp if that someone leaves something behind.
.
31) What are you excited for?
- NADIM!
.
32) Who was the last missed call?
- Hayati. sorry babe. i cant go today.
.
33) At the moment are you more warm or cold?
- Warm.
.
34) What was the last thing you spent your money on?
- HONEY MILK TEA!
.
35) Is there one song that reminds you of the whole summer?
- yep. the songs on this blog of mine.
.
36) What are you doing right now?
- typing. haha.
.
37) Can you handle the truth?
- Yes.
.
38) How's your life lately?
- heavy duty. *ish. dah macam Energizer battery gitu.*
.
39) When's the last time you did something you knew was wrong?
- i dont know. but it was esp so last year.
.
40) If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?
- Spring. i love flowers. =)
.
41) Do you hate being alone?
- NO. NEVER.
.
42) Where were you last night?
- first half of the night, i was with my french tomato. another half of the night, i was at home. script-ing.
.
43) Last non-alcoholic beverage consumed?
- plain water.

.
44) Do you currently have a hickey?
- Nope.
.
45) Think back to the last person you held hands with, would you kiss them?
- oh oh yes please!
.
46) When did you first get Myspace?
- i dont even have it now. haha.

.
47) Are you drifting away from any friends?
- i am drifting away from hafiz n handry. oh no.
.
48) What are you listening to?
- the sounds of my siblings quarelling. sheesh.
.
49)Does the last person who put their arm around you mean anything to you?
- a lot.
.
50) Are you comfortable with answering personal questions?
- Yes. well actually. it depends, ya know.
.
51) Ever kissed someone who smokes?
- Yes. do i regret it? yes.
.
52) Someone on your mind right now?
- yes. u know who.

.
53) Who was the last person to sit on your bed?
- Ismah.
.
54) Where were you at 2:02 this morning?
- home. i told u i was sleeping didnt i?

.
55) Did you go to sleep last night smiling?
- haha. yes.
.
56) Anyone told you a secret this week?
- just yesterday.
.
57) When was the last time you bought something?
- yesterday. HONEY MILK TEA!

``Mat Jenin

that 9 month old baby

haiya. nowadays u have to pardon me for being super random. for example, now. haha. mishary's sick. high fever. at first i thought it was bad. but later on i got to know that his high fever is due to the fact that he's gonna grow his first baby teeth. aww. so cute. like me. hee. =P ok dah. itu aje yang saye nak update. hurhur. pathetic kan? oh well. whatever. hee!

``Mat Jenin

oak abe abe.
this past week has been the usual. except for some downfallS of somethingS. hmm. shall not elaborate more on that. anyway. now i'm busy with drama trainings. AB and BN. but lucky for me they are not very intensive. phew. up till now. i havent even started to get going in terms of my studies. i dont know why but its just me. i cant bring myself to take out those bulky booklets of theories and study them. maybe the lack of support from my super expert frens i think. nevermind that. i think i'll be able to start by this week. i hope. heh. ok lah. nanti if i got something else to update, i'll update hor. =)
ps. i miss my french tomato.

``Mat Jenin

random

OAK ABE ABE!
haha. hello people. ok a couple of random issues. up till today. around 20 people have called me up and said, "ey. aku nmpk benua tadi" or maybe "yan! tadi aku bump into anwar dgn gf dier!" there were a lot of other comments. *which were super hilarious. hee.* k lah people. i tell u something. so long as ur in woodlands, u will definitely have a 99% chance of seeing him and/or her. so brace yourselves people! brace yourselves! haha. ape siak tu. hurhur. aniwae. that aside. here's video of me. along with hafiz's voice. omg lah. i cant believe i actually did this. so much for feminity. grr. enjoy laughing eh korang. hee. oh sorry. u have to tilt ur head a bit to see this. =P


hmm let's see. ape lagi eh? well today apparently i'm not going out. cuz i'm SUPER lazy. but tmrw. i guess i'll be going out to pasir ris with them peeps. outing. hmm but dear Lahling cant follow. =( but nevermind. i know i'll have fun. kan kan kan? teehee. ok dah. i'm actually on the phone now. with Lahling. hurhur. till next time people. =)

``Mat Jenin

hee.

dear lahling.

yesterday was sweet. it was a memorable moment that i'll cherish for the rest of my life. thank you so much.
i love you. i swear. =)

``Mat Jenin

ECP

oak abe abe!

today was super fun! hee. me, amirah, dayah, hafiz handry n hafizah went to ECP. to destress i guess. esp when our H1s are over. hee. let's say that again. esp when our H1s are over. haha. i like the sound of that. hee. yep2. we went there and the first thing we did is... stone. hah. stone. tu lah dier. masing2 ade masalah sendiri. masing2 perlukan masa dan ruang sendiri untuk berfikir dengan tenang. it was a good time to do that. n so we did. after that i got to know that Lahling was otw there from changi. so we kirim-ed food. haha. sorry hor lahling. wa i-pi-li-si-ate lu punyia saclifice. hehe. and so. we cam whored every single sec. stone again. cam whored again. and stone again. until me n handry decided to take a dip in the water. n wow. it was nice. haha. since i didnt plan on going for a swim, i didnt bring my spare clothes. in the end i had to wear amirah's spare clothes which i dont know why she brought it for in the first place. =P. n guess what. hafiz laughed at me. he freaking laughed his head off when he saw me in amirah's clothes. *or shorts i suppose?* grr. tk guna nye anak. haiya. =) so yeah. we waited for more than 3 hrs for our food to arrive. we ate n when its dark, we decided to go home. and of course. i went home with Lahling. yay! *jumps up and down* hee. some photos down here. enjoy. oh oh btw. can we please have more of these outings? it was fun n super destressing. =))

ps. madly. deeply. truly. =)

``Mat Jenin

oak abe abe!

yessa! i am DONE with maths! yes yes yes! that's it for the year man. no more PW. no more maths. no more H1. hee. next up. Awang Belanga 09. huhu. i am soo excited. despite the fact that we had many hiccups, the fire in me still burns. uhuh. the passion for MCS is still in me baby. hee. oh yes. btw. i put up a new tagboard for my beloved FRIENDS and FAMILY to tag. and not my SUPER FANATIC FANS. so if u, my fans, are thinking of doing so, please think twice. =) ok done. till the next post. ZASSSSS!

``Mat Jenin

---------------OCTOBER BABY -------------------
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves
to takes things at the center. Inner and physical
beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry
often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and
fearless. Always making friends.. Easily hurt but
recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does
not care to control emotions. Unpredictable.
Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND
sexiest of them all.

random. i know. haha. =P actually i just wanna say out something that i've been wanting to say for quite sometime now. *coughs* "MATHS AH MATHS. HAIYA! DIE AH DIE!" haha. ok dah. i'm too stressed out i guess. on second thought.. no lah. too worked up. sheesh. just 2 more days Izyan. just 2 more days. come on. u can do it. force oi. hee. i cant wait to go to school tmrw. cuz i miss you. hurhur. =)

oh btw. NIZAR gave me a new title in mcs. BOSSY QUEEN. yes people. he said i'm a BOSSY VP. gee. now u can call me Jenin The Bossy Queen. haha. thanks eh nizar for giving ur mum all the wrong info. u messed with the wrong people. hah. u r soo gonna get it right in ur face. k lah. i (or rather, WE) will settle with u in school. =) nites peeps.

oak abe abe!

back

sorry its been a long time since i put my blog to private. its been a hell of a time with some jealous freaks who just cant seem to settle down with the fact that i've moved on without em. but nevermind. aniwae. i'm done with my OP. my maths is in a 2 days time. my IR is due tmrw. wth. haiya. so many things. so little time. as usual. grr. now i'm doing my maths. n i'm telling u that actually, nothing is going inside my head. i wonder why. hmm. so yeah. oh oh. sorry i had to remove my tagboard because it seems that its becoming more n more popular with my fans who r so dedicated to keep track n comment on every minor things in my life. other than that there r also hardcore fans who just love to 'bring the house down'. so to my fans out there, happy 'reading WITHOUT commenting' on my blog.
OAK ABE ABE!

ps. dear lahling. that place was simply wonderful. thanks.
SAYE SAYANG AWAK.

``Mat Jenin

ooh la la~

ooh. i sense tint of jealousy around me now. somebody is obviously NOT happy with the way i am now. hah. i know. ur talking abt me. hmm let's see now. when was the last time that i bitched about u? err. july? august? yeah. so why the sudden burst? hmph. maybe things between u guys arent that good, or perhaps u guys sparked a little fight and both agreed on pushing the blame on me? i dont know. AND I DONT CARE. hello missy. get ur facts right first before attempting to blast at me for no apparrent reason ok. u soo dont know what he does behind u. get this right, i know him far better than u do. one thing's for sure, i did NOT contact ur BF. i did NOT bother ur BF. i NEVER ever want him back in my life again. make sure u get that inside that little head of his. if u want to know, which i guess u already do, he is the one contacting me for you-know-what reason ok. the only thing that makes me want to continue entertaining him is because of SYMPATHY. and not LOVE. like hello? its soo long over between us alright. there, there honeypie. dont get too paranoid now. i know u feel SUPER conscious due to the fact that u wouldnt want to lose him again. i know. i never wanna do that. i believe his choices are based on reasons that only he knows. i never said he never loved u. i believe he does. so what's the problem now? if u think i'm really a big threat to ur current relationship why arent u coming up to me and say it? maybe i dont realise what i'm doing. oh wait. in the first place, what exactly did i do? huh? that's for u to know and for me to find out. the thing is i dont want to find out. so i dont see any reason for u to blast at me for no logical reason or explaination, as if i know this whole love story of urs. n to u Mr Lover. i am waaaay OVER u. was i the one begging u asking u to take me back? was i the one who wanted tolet go of this relationship? no. a big fat NO alrite. excuse me mister. i made my way through until now WITHOUT u ok. 5 months without u back then. n i survived. so dont make it look as if ur one big hell of a man that supports the foundation of my life because u never did. 3 years of relationship is not easy and u fucking know that. i managed to stay strong and i am proud of it. n until now i am still standing and proud to be where i am now even though i've been through hell before in my last few moments of relationship with u. just when i thought everything was over. u proved me wrong. both u and ur gf. come on lah girl. stop pin pointing others. in the first place how can i ruin ur relationship if i dont even keep in contact with anyone of u? stupid. just remember this. i am happy with the life i have now. i have HIM. i have my love. i have my friends. i have MY FAMILY. n i dont need anything more. not even a wince of sympathy or attention from u or ur bf. ur still not over me yet arent u dear Mr Lover? it was u who tagged me. i know. u wanna know how i know? because nobody says 'i love you' to me the way u do. i dont stick with u for 3 years n learn nothing ok. just one piece of advice that i gave u last time. n i hope u still rmb it till now. follow ur heart. cuz it always tells u to do the right thing that can make u happy till whenever. n whatever happens in ur relationship never ever put the blame on me or HIM because we were never involved in the shits that were hurled at u. oh yes btw. did i mention that i am SUPER happy with my relationship with my dear Lahling now? i did? good. because i just need u to remember that. the more u guys do this, the more intense ur relationship gets, the more happier i am with Lahling because i know he loves me more than u ever did. now what i want u guys to do is to stay on the low, do ur own private things and DONT bother my life again ok. not even for ANY reason u find logical. alrite? ok now go. shush. just go and play somewhere far from me.

oh yes. and btw. if u think that little warning of urs is gonna tick me off, u r soo wrong girl. i am not born to be barbaric. i repeat. BARBARIC. now that's what i call pure shitheads.

oak abe abe!

``Mat Jenin

oak abe abe!

haiya. PW PW PW. crazy freak. now no more PW for the moment ok. i wanna destress. hee. i wanna talk about ME. heehee. macam paham pe yan. no lah. i got nothing to do actually. *no actually i do have something to do. MATHS.* ah. buat bodoh kambing. i had a chat wtih twin sis just now. been so long i never talked to her. i missed her SUPER very much. n i got to know some stuffs. i'm just glad that it came from her and not anybody else. gerl. no matter what i will believe you. i never doubted ur friendship. dont worry about me. i'm fine. n i still love you like before. =) dear you. thanks for that FK moment. it was simply sweet of u. hee.

alrite babe. now i wanna go makan. very hungry already. den must sit down and do... MATHS. oh god. help me. please. sheesh.

ps. eh krg2 nak gi night safari tak?

kite gi halloween night dier. jom ah. hee!

``Mat Jenin

outdated

oak abe abe! HEE. ok lah. ni lah dia gmbr2 tu. sikit2 je k. got too many pictures too upload so i guess i'll just randomly select some and post it up. i'll upload the rest in my friendster profile yah. enjoyz! =P

``Mat Jenin

hee. i'm in PW class now. oh i just love my PW members!
CRYSTAL. HANDRY. GARLENG. NISHANTI.
I LOVE YOU GUYS A LOT!
STAY STRONG PPL! WE CAN DO IT!
I BELIEVE IN YOU GUYS OK?
muacks. =))

oak abe abe!

``Mat Jenin

2nd post

[01] Do you ever wonder what your last ex is up to?
; Yes. sometimes when i start to daydream.

[02] have u ever been given roses?
; Yes. by Ridaudin.

[03] What is your all-time favorite
romance movie?
; Mohabbatein. TITANIC.

[04] How many times have you honestly
fallen deeply in love?
; Once. including this one, twice. =)
[05] Do you believe that everyone has their soulmate?
; uhuh. definitely.

[06] What's your current problem?
; he's not comfortable with, AS YET.

07] Have you ever had your heart broken?
; Yep. loads of times.

[08] Had a Long Distance Relationship?
; once. and it doesnt work out. so i dont believe in it.

[09] Do you believe in this saying-
ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER?
; now? no. last time? yes.

[10] Do you want to get married?
; Yes yes yes please! =D

[11] How many kids do you want to have?
; FIVE. or more? hee.

[12] What're your favorite colors?
; Hot Pink. Lime Green

[13] Who was the last person you held
hands with?
; Zulkifli.

[14] Do you believe in love at first
sight?
; Totally.

[16] At what age did you start noticing the opposite gender?
; When i was in Primary 4.

[17] Do you still like your ex?
; like? yes. love? i prefer not to disclose.

[18] Do you know someone who likes you?
; err.. i guess?

[19] Do you like anyone?
; i like a lot of ppl. hurhur.

[20] Do they know you like/love them?
; i think so. except for Taufik Batisah. =P

[21] Would you kiss someone?
; Only if i truly love that someone.

(22) Whats your status?
; ATTACHED. && LOVING IT.

``Mat Jenin

haiya

oak abe abe!
haiya haiya. so long nvr update. haha. been very bz lately. particularly with PW. thank god. my pw drama has ended. n it was indeed a success. thanks to the cast : ATIKA, Zul, Fafa n Handry. i love u guys so much. without u guys i dont know how my PW group's drama wil turn out. =)) ok let's see. woah. too many things to say lah. so many things have been going on. too many pictures to upload. tk tergh-larghat dhen nok upload ni ha... *ape sey tu?* haha. whatever. ok just bits here n there lah k.

on 6th oct my beloved frens had a bdae surprise for me. it was 'wonderful'. keke. so many 'nicee' bdae presents. but the best part was, my MBF wrote n sang a song specially for me. aww. so sweet. sayang kau lah abang kurps. =P

on the 11 oct as i posted, we sastera mates went for a raya outing it was SUPER fun. no hassle. it was simply enjoyable. thnx eh ppl. u really made the day the most memorable outing ever.

on the 15 oct. we got our promotional status. alhamdulillah. i managed to pull thru. to those of u who have to leave us i just wanna say that this is not the end of the world. maybe there are better opportunities for u ppl out there. maybe u'll be more successful then us MIllennias one day. who knows? =) oh yes. this day is ZEE MOST special day because we managed to get my MBF to go up on stage n dance! hah! how exactly we do that? we sabotaged him! keke. cute or what sia? =)) wanna watch? go to youtube. USOP MILLENNIA. hee. opps. =O

on the 17 oct my PW grp carried out their drama skit abt maid abuse. it was a success as i;'ve mentioned. thnx to my talented cast. i dont know what to do without u guys. n to atika. so sorry that u got hurt in the process. hee. that's what we call hardiness and determination. =))

yesteday. my PW grp n amirah's PW grp went to rp to finish up our OP slides. from morning till night. we did our work. we gossipped. we flared. it was fun. so much things i didnt know. esp abt YOU. Ms A.Y. hmm.

i guess i'm done. i'm supposed to do something else but instead i sat in front of this computer blogging. wth. haha. ok lah. i gtg. see u guys somewhere someday sometime. soon. hee. OAK ABE ABE!

ps. thnx atika. for the info u gave me.
it really helped. now i know who's 'polluter'.
dasar betina.
hurhur.

``Mat Jenin

raya outing

oak abe abe!
yday was SUPER DE DUPER fun! i went on a raya outing with my sastera peeps *along with their ehems* and i can tell u its the best and syncronised raya outing i've ever been to. everybody were so colourful. hee. we went to a total of 8 houses in total approx. we took arnd 12 hrs i think? haha. went to hidayah golek's hse and she gave a surprise bday cake to her ehem. aww. so sweet. den we went to cg's house den hafiz usop den fandy den me den amirah den hafiz rawal den fuad and lastly hayati. haha. ok let's count. ok sorry. ada 9 hse total. haha. i tell u amirah's hse was the most memorable hse i went to. she's got a SUPER cute ragdoll cat! so fluffy so CUTE! the best part is, my MATHSBF is afraid of cats. haha. u put someone who is afraid of cats in a hse with a cat and what happens? shit happens. hahaha. he went to the extend of clinging on top of handry when the cat is running arnd the house. buruk ke pe sop? haha. hafiz rawal's hse on the other hand reminded me of alice in wonderland. the whole hse was so... Disney. hahaha. seriously. if we had the time i would really had wanted to stay for longer. but yeah. its the time factor.

at the end of the day, we went headed to our last stop at Eunos, rumah hayati, paid the bus driver since we wont be uising his services anymore for the day. everything arnd that area was so classic except for the fact that all over the place were scuttering cockroaches. yes i said COCKROACHES. my frens walked straight to the lift but i zig-zagged all the way trying to avoid the sight of those filthy creatures. what do u expect? lipas siak. geli ke pe. den at 1140 we left hayati's hse n headed for eunos mrt BUT it turns out to be we missed the last train. damn. we thought of taking the 67 bus to cck mrt but it already ended at the eunos bus int. so we had to go to the opposite direction outside of the int. the most silliest thing is. hafiz made us run in heels! wth. particularly amirah n me. we're wearing heels of how many inches n we ran! style ke pe. haha. skali we got to know that we chased after the wrong bus. siak ah fiz. grr. he's gonna pay for what he did to my heels. i mean OUR heels. haha. in the end we went our separate ways. hafiz amirah zul n me took 67 to cck and the rest took 61 to bb. despite all the hiccups of yday's outing, i never felt happier. maybe due to the fact that missed raya outing so much, or becuz i get to spend more than 12 hrs with lahling. hee. sorry no pictures cuz my dear amirah havnt gotten the chance to upload it as yet. so yeah. i'll upload it as soon as she send it to me yah? btw. I LOVE U GUYS. THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL SUPER HAPPY. YDAY WILL BE A DAY THAT I WILL ALWAYS CHERISH. I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING U GUYS AGAIN. lovees~ ok done. gotta rush. going to seranggon plaza today. PW matters. sheesh.

oak abe abe! hee.

btw. lahling look awesome. mcm extra cute gitu kn.
and to my MATHSBF. u looked SUPER hot. sayang kau sgt2. =))

``Mat Jenin

let me repost whatever i blogged abt.

Friday, September 19, 2008
currently i'm in school. just finished my sastera paper just now. it was f*cking hard. i swear. ok dah. no hope already. to all my year ones i think i'll meet u guys next year yah. =)). ok now for the serious part.i just saw her blog just now. n now i am feelin SUPER bad. SUPER guilty. i dont know why. i think because i'm in the wrong i guess? hello. yan. like OBVIOUSLY u're in the wrong. then who else? him? no right? gosh. i swear i never felt this way before. its like u're trampling on someone's dreams just to get on top of urs. f*ck lah kn. dah lah yan. u r SUPER bitchy siak. come on. dont be SUPER selfish. think of others can? for once lah yan. THINK OF OTHERS.ok dah. i'm tired. tired of all this SHIT. i've had enough. i dont care animore. i wanna stop thinking abt stupid shits alreadi. SUPER stupid shits.
period.

Thursday, September 18, 2008
i feel bad. very very bad. am i doing the right thing? am i doing something that i am NOT supposed to do? why is everybody asking me so much qns? is it my fault? i dont know. its not that i want to do this. its not that i asked for this stupid shit. it just happens.
today's incident made me wake up. it made me wake up to the fact that i'm being selfish. i'm being cruel. i'm being a hypocrite. n his decision is not helping. i'm a girl. n i understand how she should feel. because i felt it before.
damn u lah izyan.
i dont want to hurt other ppl. but if i dont, it will be to the expense of hurting myself. so which will it be izyan? others or yourself? its hard. and its UNFAIR. be it for me or for them both. i want this shit. really really badly. but i dont know if i am asking for something that is worth it. again i'm telling. i dont want to hurt other ppl. esp if they had nvr done anything wrong to me. shit. i just hate dilemmas.
boy, i soo need your help. i soo need your comfort.
i soo need your shoulders. pls dont leave me this way.
this feeling just utterly sucks.
you know i didnt ask for it right?
you know our situation right?
you know how hard this is for the both of us right?
pls tell me you do.
because i soo need YOU.

hmm. whatever u are doing shows how much u understood whatever i posted lah. can i just ask something? whatever u state at ur blog, is it stated by me? NO. its stated by a fren of mine who happens to pass by n gives her own point of view. n not me. yang terlibat dlm ni adalah saye zul dan amirah. tp knp yg lain sibuk2 ye? oh. kepo agknye. hee. ok lah. kasi chance lah kt krg. mcm deprived pulak kalau awk smua tk dpt luahkn perasaan terhadap saye. sile lah sile. kerana walau apa pun saye tau by 10 yrs down the road awk smua dah boleh berfikir dah sedar yg ape2 yg krg buat ni membosankn. so nnt pandai2 lah krg diam sendiri ye. saye byk lg hal penting yg boleh saye buat. i will keep this blog public as long as i can take it lah. if not i think i'll make it private so that u 'penyokong2' setia will not be able to interfere in my life. oh yes btw. awk nk lelong blog saye ye. hmm. kalau gitu saye pun nk lah lelong blog awk. =)))
OAK ABE ABE!

``Mat Jenin

haiya. wa punyia blog sulah jati maciam itu kapal pilang!!! cho meng ah...! phang wo ah...! aiyo. korang2 ni eh. dah tkde kerja lain ke? kn tgh hari raya ni. tlg lah mak kt rumah buat ketupat ke ape ke kn lg mulia.. ni tk. duduk dpn comp spam2 blog orang. itu pon boleh gembira kah? haha. dah lah. saye tau ape salah saye. saye tau ape salah MATAIR saye dan awak puan amira roslan patut tau salah awak jugak ye. perampas pun perampas lah. janji happy? ada betul? ye saye. mmg saye bahagia sekali. teramat bahagia sekali dgn kehidupan baru yg saye jalani ni. but then it would be better without the presence of u guys lah. 'penyokong2' saye yg sudi mengambil berat ttg ape segala yg saye ingin lakukn dlm hidup saye. terima kasih lah ye tp saye ni sebenarnye dah cukup perhatian. jd saye suggest awk berilah perhatian2 awk yg tidak diperlukn di sini kepada yg lebih memerlukan seperti rumah anak2 yatim ke rumah orang2 tua ke ye tk? oh oh. maksud saye 'penyokong2' setia adalah orang2 yg sudi mengikuti kursus hidup saye dan mengkritik segala kesalahan saye. dgn mengkritik saye awk telah menjadikn saye seorang manusia yg lebih berwaspada dan lebih baik dari yg ini. ok dah. saye nk pegi romen2. jgn kepo ye. haha. OAK ABE ABE!

``Mat Jenin

ramblings.

OAK ABE ABE!

so much for my later on in the day. its already a new day. haha. n i'm not asleep yet. why? i dont know. not sleepy i guess. at last. i've settled my WR articles n now the only thing that needs to be done is to send it to my dear crystal. and handry. if i get to meet u, u r soo gonna get it from me. just be prepared. grr.

just now when i came back from the  library, there was nobody at home. i'm left alone. again. *apadah* so from that afternoon till night [excluding the i-dont-know-how-many-times-we-hung-up-on-each-other calls. =P] i chatted on the phone with lahling. n since i cant upload pictures to my comp due to some technical fault, i got lahling to upload it and send it to my email. aww. *sanggup awk ye? maceh.* 

although my research is done, there are stilll a whole lot of things that needs to be settled. gosh. u wouldnt wanna know what are the things that i have yet to settle. all i've been doing lately is delay. delay. delay. postpone. postpone. postpone. aduh. come on yan. FORCE OI. FORCE. i seriously need to follow STRICTLY to my planned timetable man. if not. sheesh.

btw. thnx aini chic'lil. awk lah org pertama yg msg saye. saye tk menyangka. =)) dan hayati. saye syg awk jugak walaupun org kata muke awk mcm ostrich ke awk anak keling ke ape ke. saye tk kisah. kekekeke. and to all others that wished me, thank u so much. i love u guys to the core man. i swear. teehee. oh oh. before i forget. zaidah! thnx for lending me ur lappie. that is by far the greatest favour anyone had ever done for me. i love u a whole lot! *hugs* ok. i'm done with the talking. now i'm off to do the dozing. ZASSSSSSS!

``Mat Jenin

stuck

oak abe abe!

i'm drained. SUPER drained. currently i'm with YB lahling *kn awk kn?* at mac doing my WR research. haiya. SUPER leceh siak. i know what i'm supposed to do but the thing is i doont know what kind of articles to focus on. i called wijayasukarno but he nvr pick up. still sleeping i guess. haha. i called crystal but she's not at home. hmm. now i'm stuck with someone who dont even know a thing abt PW and i dont know what to do. blah blah blah. ok ah. saye lapar. nk gi makan. i'll update soon. ltr on in the day. oak abe abe!

``Mat Jenin

random

oak abe abe!

i was late for sch today. i woke up at approximately 7.59am. wth. i called lahling for 'only-god-knows-how-many' times but he didnt pick up. so i thought he was waiting for me at the usual. therefore i panicked n rushed to get ready. when suddenly. he called. still SUPER groggy. haha. so i know he just woke up also. phew. anw. nevertheless i still went to sch, went for maths lesson. and maths lesson only. then went for consultation with ms huang. after that. went to do some grocery shopping, ate, and went home. now i'm sitting in front of somebody's comp n blogging. teehee.

i wanna go raye. but there's so many things to do. but i have soo little time. now i'm left with 2 choices. either i do it or i go up to the umpteenth storey of a building, throw down all my notes and to-dos and try to chase for it by jumping down the building. my decision: do it. *like duh* aduh. it hurts more when i list out all the things that needs to be done. *dah mcm nk gi perang ade plan2 terperinci ni smua. rabak pe yan.* its ok. FORCE OI. FORCE. hee. i'm starting to miss MCS already. i miss drama. i miss acting. i miss their craziness. if only i could stop time. hmms. ok now i wanna go do out my final draft of my EOM. *ini anak tak habis2 dgn EOM dier.* send and i''m done.

oh oh. on a random note. my maths best friend is in LOOVE. hee. i know u know everybody know. dah dah. tkmo hide. feel the love. savour the love. i'm telling u its nicee. trust me on this will ya? oak abe abe!

``Mat Jenin

official

oak abe abe!

Today marks the end of Ramadhan and the start of Syawal, therefore i would like to take this oppurtunity to wish everyone SELAMAT HARI RAYA! kalau lah ada salah dan silap saya ataupun mungkin saya ada pernah terkasar bahasa atau laku, saya menyusun sepuluh jari memohon ampun kerana sesungguhnya saya tidak pernah berniat untuk melukakn hati mana2 pihak. terutama sekali kwn2 yg rapat dgn saya. oleh dari itu sekali lagi saya mengucapkan SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN!

OOH OOH. BTW. ITS OFFICIAL BABY. IT'S AREADY OFFICIAL. =))

``Mat Jenin

i'm not ok.

these few days have been super sucky except for the fact that i had iftar on friday. somebody have been going around posing as me. and it is soo NOT funny. this poser particularly target at this particular blog at the most particular sensitive peak of time. and poser, if ur reading this i think u shud just retire from this stupid act of urs. go dig ur ass for other means of entertaining or satisfying urself. still dont know how? den i suggest u jump down from the umpteenth floor for all i care. i am soo not intimidated by u lah kn. if u r a guy that means u have no balls which means ur just a pathetic idiotic jerk that shudnt be entertained. if u r a girl then that means u r NOT a girl. u cant even come up to me n say u dont like me. or perhaps dont like the fact that i'm FUCKING happy with my beloved. get this clear in ur head. I WILL STILL LOVE HIM NO MATTER WHAT AND THERE IS NOTHING U CAN DO ABT IT. shithead. i dont know why these ppl just have to do these shitty stuff. well. i guess i'm just too popular or too perfect that some ppl just have to take advantage of every minor chances that they see to bring me down. fyi the more u do this, the more honoured i feel, the more higher i go. dumb dumb. and to ami. pls lah. i did not steal ur boyfren ok. n i did not TAG u. as if i got nothing better to do rather than get involved in ur life. the way u react at things totally proves how much u needed him in ur life. so dont make it look as if ur one big fuck and that u stood up for him in any way. firstly i thought i'd be feeling super guilty for the rest of my life. but now. i think that this may be the best decision i've made in my entire life as yet. u soo shud learn ur lesson. if not this will keep repeating itself n i will assure u not even the best of frens can make up for it. i bet he did tell u that its not me. but if u still think that its me then its up to u. a piece of advice: dont try me. i can be the most lenient girl there is on earth but when it comes to business i can make ur life as miserable as hell to the extent that u'd be feeling sorry that u'd ever known me. so pls. think before u even come to any conclusion. because i hate having enemies. period.

lahling. i'm sorry. i still wanna be with u though.

``Mat Jenin

hari raya preparations

today was fun. during sastera class we were assigned to decorate certain areas of the school with Hari Raya decorations by Cg Rasiah. so we divided the class into 2. half of them went to decorate the front of the general office while the other half of us stayed in class to stick those envelopes toegether so that we can hang em up. so yeah. we stapled n stapled and stapled n we're done. when suddenly somebody amongst us suggested, "eh korang! ape kate kite buat ucapan hari raya?" n i thought it was a great idea! haha. just take a look at the videos at the end of the post yah. the longer one is the second try. i thought the song was a bit too loud. tell me which one u guys prefer cuz i wanna send the better one to mediacorp. hee! nevertheless i had FUN! =)

ok den after sastera we had mgt. they went thru the ans n then we had our 4 periods of break. dah boring. tk tau ape nk buat, i decided to go to the o hub. stared in front of the comp until my eyes hurt n then slept during the last break period before heading off to PE. *aduh. dah puase. panas terik pulak tu.* we were told to run 4 rounds then we are free to play our games. after PE is actually the climax of my day. me n other sastera ppl sat by the carpark curb by the stadium n sang hari raya songs. haha. *terase kejap suasane raye ye tk?* keke. i had fun lah. thnx eh korang! =) for a moment there i didnt feel thirsty or hungry. after that met lahling who waited for me *aww so sweet.* n we headed back home. now. i'm sitting in front of the comp again checking my inbox. so many matters for me to handle n settle. alright i think i'll stop for now. i'll update soon. oh yah. here's the videos. enjoy. ZASSSS!

``Mat Jenin

in sch.

right now, i'm actually in the school's library. i just finished my MCS meeting abt an hr ago. then i borrowed nizar's laptop. n i'm currently using it. hee. during the meeting just nw, we talked and discussed abt impt issues n matters. gosh. i didnt know there's so many thngs to be done in so little time. luckily the work load tallies with the number of members we have. that is if i consider everyone as somebody whom i can trust and depend on. hmm. i dont wanna mention names but i just feel that ppl are just not doing their part. no matter how many times ppl try to talk to them they just still remained the same. its hard esp knowing that i love them to the core. haiya. manyak susah lah tu.

i was doing my maths revision abt 10 mins ago when i decided to blog. particularly abt.. nothing at all. haha. pathetic kn? no lah. actually i was so freaking attracted to nizar's lappie lah. the espresso black colour makes me drool. hee. it looks like cappuccino coffee to me. =)) gonna break fast outside because i'm staying for night study. most probably with hafiz handry n lahling.

eh eh. hold on eh.

................................................

................................................

................................................

................................................

k dah. i took some pictures of us in the library. my lahling is obviously stressed out with the heavy work load that he has to get done before the exams. kn abang? hahaha. saya dah habis exam. awak bile pulak? kekeke. ooh ooh. n i managed to get lahling's timetable. look at what he did. typical kedi-ak. =))

ps. grr. i so hate u lah lahling. kediak. ish. siak. sundet.

``Mat Jenin

them.

dear fafa.
i envy ur strength in going thru whatever shit that happens to u every single time. i hope u can just stay strong n just wait. i know u'll be able to pull thru. dont lie to urself. be true n honest abt ur feelings n everything's going to turn out right. u will be happy then. i know u can do it, gerl. fyi i'll always be there for u if ever u need me. aku sayang kau tau.

dear hidayah.
ur willingness to hold on even though thru all these times has made me look up to u one notch higher. u've been thru harder times n i believe that this time u can hold on also. maybe u just need time. time to think n reflect abt ur actions. ur decisions. i understand. but i just want u to know one thing. i will now n forever be beside u to see u thru ur hard times. and thats because i love u. no matter what, i'll try to do anything to help u out of ur messy situation. dont give up darl. cuz u know u'll be at the losing end if u do. n pls. dont do decision when ur in a confused state of mind. u know it's wrong don't u?

``Mat Jenin

MUNA

omg. thnx to MUNA my blog is working again. gosh. i spent the past 70 yrs of my life tryina figure out the prob siak. n now it's solved! thanks to... MUNA! ish. sayang kau hardcore ah babe. wa caya sama lu ah, computer freak. keke. ok dah. i want to hit the publish button now. ZASSSSS!

``Mat Jenin

baby

look look! i namaged to this video of mishary from my daddy's fone. in this one, he's laughing. i didnt know he was ticklish. i made him laugh tau. keke. he's cute lah. ok dah. korang2 tgk k. i promise. very very cute. like me. =P

ps. i just loove this baby boy. =))

``Mat Jenin

bosan

ok. saye sebenarnya bosan ni sekarang. jadi saye membuat keputusan untuk 'blog'. ok. gmbr yang di atas tu saye letak atas dasar suke2 saje jadi awak jgn lah tanye kenape ye. mungkin sbb gmbr ni mcm ala2 klasik kot. sbb tu saye suke. *whats with the language man?*

ok. just now i went to the meeting at btcc. it was enriching. our grp's mentor was SUPER cool lah. so creative n so merepek. to the extend that my grp members got too carried away. haha. then after the meeting, i went to meet up with ex hubby. *siak ah. got nothing better to do ah?* talked for a while. reminiscing old times. though i feel TOTALLY awkward but it felt good. i dont know why. do you? hee. *winks*

i dont know eh. i'm missing u so much sey. *padahal baru td jumpe eh? haha.* i knew i have fallen for u a loooooong time ago but this feeling that i have right now is just... different. i just feel that miss u. n as i know it, MISSING will eventually lead to LOVING. woah. love is a VERY big word. its easier said than done. n i dont want u to love me just because i love u. i want u to love me out of ur own accord. n now i realised. its just a little bit more. a teeny weeny bit more n cupid will strike me. i know.

ps. aku rindu banget deh ama lahling ku.
tapi aku nggak tau kanapa.
kira-kira kanapa yei?
aduh. aku buntu sih.
semuanya pasti karna kamu wahei lahling.

``Mat Jenin

ouch

currently i'm in school. just finished my sastera paper just now. it was f*cking hard. i swear. ok dah. no hope already. to all my year ones i think i'll meet u guys next year yah. =)). ok now for the serious part.
i just saw her blog just now. n now i am feelin SUPER bad. SUPER guilty. i dont know why. i think because i'm in the wrong i guess? hello. yan. like OBVIOUSLY u're in the wrong. then who else? him? no right? gosh. i swear i never felt this way before. its like u're trampling on someone's dreams just to get on top of urs. f*ck lah kn. dah lah yan. u r SUPER bitchy siak. come on. dont be SUPER selfish. think of others can? for once lah yan. THINK OF OTHERS.
ok dah. i'm tired. tired of all this SHIT. i've had enough. i dont care animore. i wanna stop thinking abt stupid shits alreadi. SUPER stupid shits.

period.

``Mat Jenin

bad.

i feel bad. very very bad. am i doing the right thing? am i doing something that i am NOT supposed to do? why is everybody asking me so much qns? is it my fault? i dont know. its not that i want to do this. its not that i asked for this stupid shit. it just happens.

today's incident made me wake up. it made me wake up to the fact that i'm being selfish. i'm being cruel. i'm being a hypocrite. n his decision is not helping. i'm a girl. n i understand how she should feel. because i felt it before.

damn u lah izyan.

i dont want to hurt other ppl. but if i dont, it will be to the expense of hurting myself. so which will it be izyan? others or yourself? its hard. and its UNFAIR. be it for me or for them both. i want this shit. really really badly. but i dont know if i am asking for something that is worth it. again i'm telling. i dont want to hurt other ppl. esp if they had nvr done anything wrong to me. shit. i just hate dilemmas.

boy, i soo need your help. i soo need your comfort.

i soo need your shoulders. pls dont leave me this way.

this feeling just utterly sucks.

you know i didnt ask for it right?

you know our situation right?

you know how hard this is for the both of us right?

pls tell me you do.

because i soo need YOU.

``Mat Jenin

feelings.

ex hubby msged me just now. i dont know why but he sounds mad. like really mad. and i wonder why. i dont know. he said he did move on. he said his current GF is far better than me. he said his life is better off without my presence. but in the end he still admitted that he's not happy with me. n he doesnt answer me when i asked why. i dont know. because of this i am becoming more unsure of my own feelings. it SCARES me ok. he said he wants to talk things out with me. what 'things'?
we already took our separate paths bi. u moved on already. now please. allow me to move on also. dont hinder the feelings that i'm having for somebody else. the more u do this the more u r hurting urself. the more it makes u feel that moving on is not the right decision afterall. but i know the best thing for us right now is to stay away from each other. so be it. perhaps ur pretendence is the best medicine afterall. especially for the current situation that we r in right now. fyi i dont wish to know the truth. or whatever that u think i'm doing wrong. if u want my assurance then just tell me. u can be rest assured that i am almost settling down with my life. and when i do u can be certain that i will never bring up the past anymore. even if u provoke me. but right now the best thing to do is for YOU to settle down n not try to poke ur nose in my life issues anymore. because u know damn well that it will NOT make u feel any better. definitely. is it so hard for u to just let me love someone else? i just dont get it. seriously.

``Mat Jenin

TEN

TEN THINGS ABOUT ME
1. Are you single?
Yes.
2. Are you happy about that?
Quite.
3. Are you bored?
Nope.
4. Are you sad?
No.
5. Are you Italian?
NO. I’m Zimbabwean.
6. Are you plastic?
No. I’m meat. Teehee.
8. Are you cool?
No. I’m HOT. =P
9. Are you chinese?
Na’ah.
10.What are you?
A pretty monkey.

TEN FACTS
1. Initials – NIR [Nur Izyan Razalee]
2. Nicknames – Jenin, Scoop, Berok.
3. Birth place - Kandang Kerbau Hospital
4. Hair color – Jet Black.
5. Age – 17 ++
6. Eye color – Brown.
7. Birthday - 5 Oct 90.
8. Mood – Anxious. [exams lah dei!]
9. Favorite color – Pink.
10. Left or right handed –Right.

TEN THIS OR THAT?
1. Love or money ? – can I have BOTH?
2. Hard liquor or beer? – Soya Bean.
3. Cats or dogs? – Cats. [dogs eh? hmm. ehem.]
4. A few best friends or many regular friends? – A few bestfriends.
5. Television or Internet? – Internet.
6. Pepsi or Coke? – Soya Bean.
7. Wild night out or romantic night? – Romantic night.
8. Money or Happiness? – Happiness.
9. Night or day? – Night.
10.IM or phone? – Phone.

TEN PREFERENCES IN A RELATIONSHIP
1. Smile or eyes – Eyes.
2. Light or dark hair – Dark.
3. hugs or kisses – Hugs. N kisses. Hee.
4. Intelligence or attraction?- Both.
5. Hook-up or relationship – Relationship. but being in between is not bad either. =P
6. Trust or love? – w/o trust there’s no love.
7. Long distance or close? – Close.
8. Call or text? – Call. Actually, meeting is better.
9. Older or younger? – Older.
10.Looks or Personality – Personality.

TEN LAST
1. Last phone call you made – Handry.
2. Last phone call you received – Mummy.
3. Last person/people you hung out with? – Lahling.
4. Last person to text you – Lahling
5. Last person you tickled? – Hafiz.
6. Last person you danced with? – Abg Nizam.
7. Last person you hugged? – Muna
8. Last person you slept with? – Mishary.
9. Last person you laughed with? – Zati.
10. Last person you kissed? – ooh. I’m not telling.

``Mat Jenin

random2

MY SECOND NOT-SO-DEEP SECRETS.

1) What's his/her full name?
~ Zulkifli Hasan

2) Does he or she have a bf/gf?
~ Err. Yes. But its not me. *YIKES*

3) Do you know a secret about him/her?
~ yes. A lot but not all.

4) How old is the person?
~ 18

5) Has he/she ever cooked for you?
~ No.

6) Is this person older than you?
~ No. the same age.

8) When was the last time you thought
about him/her?
~ 1 sec ago.

9) How are you related to this person?
~ I don’t know. Bf to be?

10) Are you really close to him/her?
~ VERY VERY close.

11) Do you have a nickname for each
other?
~ yes yes yes!

13)How many times do you talk to this
person in a week?
~ Everyday.

14) Do you think she/he will repost
this?
~ No.

15) Could you live with this
person?
~ I realli hope so.

16) Why is this person your number 1?
~ because he understands me more than other guys do.

18) How long have you known this
person?
~ Ever since march this year.

19) Have you ever been to the mall
with this person?
~ Yeap.

20) Have you ever had a sleep over with
them?
~ err. Camp?

21) If you ever moved away would you
miss this person?
~ TRULY.

22) Have you ever given this person
something?
~ umm. Yes I think.

23) Have you ever done something
really stupid or illegal with this
person?
~ hmm. Yes.

24) Do you know everything about this
person?
~ not everything.

25) Would you date this person's
siblings?
~ he has none. Haha.

27) Do you miss him/her?
~ a lot.

28) Have you fought before?
~ no. not as yet.

29) Have you gone skinny dipping with
this person?
~ no. and never.

30) Does this person have a fetish?
~ I don’t know.

31) Is she/he on drugs?
~ No.

32) Do you know this person's shoe
size?
~ yes I guess.

33) Have you ever worn this person's
clothes?
~ yes.

34) Have you and this person made
up a hand shake?
~ no.

35) If it was "freaky friday" would
you switch bodies with this person?
~ NEVER!

36) Has this person ever seen you
dance?
~ yes. During drama.

37) Have you ever heard this person
sing?
~ yes. Its ugly.

39) Do you know this persons
friendster password?
~ nope.

40) Do you know this persons best
friend?
~ yes. But not close.

41) Have you and this person ever
gotten into a fight that lasted more
than 2 days?
~ no.

42) Does this person cry alot?
~ no. he’s not emotional.

43)Have you met any of this person's
family?
~ yes.

44) Have you and this person went
clubbing?
~ no. him? Clubbing? Haha.

45) Do you know how to make this
person feel happy?
~ I think so.

46) Do you and this person talk a lot?
~ yeah. Too much I guess.

47) Have you licked this person?
~ haha.

48)Have this person ever yelled at you?
~ no. I yelled at him.

49) Have you and this person got into
a fist fight?
~ no.

50) Do you love this person?
~ TRULY.

MCS

yesterday i went to the first MCS meeting with abg mok and the rest to talk abt the next Awang Belanga production. n i didnt know it would be of such tedious work. how i wish we still have seniors to help us. but no. we dont. hmm. its ok. i know we can do it ppl. i trust u guys a lot. esp HAYATI AND ZULKIFLI. let's try our best to make this forth production a success like the previous years. oh yah btw, do take note.

TO ALL MCS MEMBERS.

There will be a meeting on the 24th of Sept straight after school outside the staffroom. It is COMPULSARY and I want full attendence on that day. Anyone who is not present without any valid reason acknowledged will be dealt with, personally by Cikgu M. Do keep up with the MCS blog for the latest info on upcoming events. Please spread out the message to every member. Thank you.

ok done. enough of MCS. now my promos. i seriously think that i will not be able to make it to year 3 next year. no i have not given up. its only that i truly lack of my self confidence. i dont know where it went. i am trying my best and giving it my all. i just hope whatever i did will pay off. hmm. 4 papers down. 3 to go. this monday. MOB n GEOG. haiya. ok lah. i know. i should be studying. n i will. like right now. oh dang. ok but before i go i wanna fulfill lahlings request. he asked me to post up this picture of his in my blog. ye tau. mmg muke tk tau malu. haha. there u have it. happy abg? =P fyi this is taken yesterday after meeting. we were at mcdonald's.

*we go for buke samer2. =))*

``Mat Jenin

Random.

MY NOT-SO-DEEP-SECRETS. Hush.

Who was your last text from?
♥ Lahling - Zulkifli
Your relationship status?
♥ Single. - i guess.
Does your crush like you back?
♥ err. no?
What is your current mood?
♥ Bored.
Whats your brothers name?
♥ Tasnim. Mishary.
Whats your favorite color?
♥ HotPink. LimeGreen.
Have a crazy side?
♥ You wont want to know. =)
Ever had a near death experience ?
♥ Nearly got hit by a moving van while chasing for the bus. with dayah. =P
Something you do alot?
♥ Laugh.
Angry at anyone?
♥ Yes.
Do you wanna see somebody right now?
♥ Hell Yeah!
When is the last time you cried?
♥ Yesterday.
Who would you do anything for?
♥ Someone only i shall know.
What is the one thing you notice about the opposite sex first?
♥ His smile. His skin colour.
Where's your ex at and what are they doing?
♥ I hope he's in HELL. perhaps he's screaming for his life right now.
Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
♥ teehee.
What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
♥ Nothing. i'm fasting. =)
Do you speak any other languages?
♥ English. Malay. Singlish - i am SOO good at it!. Zimbabwean.
How much money is in your wallet?
♥ $16.10
Describe your life in one word?
♥ Tough.
What are you thinking about right now?
♥ MCS meeting with Abg Mok later on.
What should you be doing right now?
♥ Take a shower. *smiles*
What was your favourite moment?
♥ When i got to know he loved me back. =))
Who was the last person you told I love you to?
♥ Lahling. shhhhhh.
Who was the last person who yelled at you?
♥ Mummy and Daddy.
Do you act differently around the person you like?
♥ Uhuh.
What is your natural hair color ?
♥ Black.
Who was the last person to make you smile?
♥ Hafiz.

``Mat Jenin

its late

its late. i know. but i cant sleep. why? because i gambled my maths. now i'm forcing myself not to give up on that subject. i am soo trying my best to do whatever i can, the very least refresh my memory on whatever i had done this past yr. i've been doing this for the past few hours n if its not because of lahling, i think i would be sleeping under the study table by now. haha. now he's asleep n i have to stay up for another hour to wake him up. he hasnt done his MT project u see. so yeah. a tip for a tap. well. i dont mind actually. =) aniwae. amirah reminded me. today is 100908. another special day to do something special for ur loved ones. pls do. because this day will only come once in ur entire lifetime. happy 100908 ppl! have a nice day ahead. oh yah btw. good luck for ur exams tmrw, Millennians. i mean today. like in 7 hrs time? damn.

``Mat Jenin

080908

today is soo super special. i just received a msg from someone after i reached home.

It reads:

"Lahling ah. Happy 080908 ah.

Wa sipatutnya bikin something spesial untuk lu ah.

tp wa lupa."

hees. i'm not telling u who this is from. hehe. just wanna blog cuz today's date is nicee. 080908. kn kn kn? ok dah. i wanna mug. for geog. *potong stim betul ah* =)) lovees~

ps. superSWEET lah u.

``Mat Jenin