Sick.

today i feel worst then ever. the friction in my throat is building up n i feel so sick. i got these coughs abt a wk ago and just when i thought they were getting better, my voice starts to fade away. ahaha. now i sound like a pure rock star. *and i like it aktuali! =P * but nevertheless i still feel very lethargic. casanova told me to drink honey water to make my throat feel better. but aktuali i prefer to drink honey on its own without the water. thats why i'm purely sweet. *n not dilutedly sweet like him.* ahaha. aniwae, right now i'm all alone at hm without any food to eat. n i havnt eaten since yesterday night. hmmph! so irritating. i feel all lazy to go peek into my fridge, what more cook?? guess i'll have to 'tahan' for a few more hrs until my mom comes home. =P


oh ya. yesterday night i couldnt sleep n i just went arnd the house in the middle of the night looking for somthing to do. *pathetic lah kan!* and then something in my parents bedroom caught my eye. something that i didnt notice for the past 5 yrs. =P



ahaha! cute lah kan?? like father like son. it was then that i noticed that my dad n my brother aktuali kinda looked alike. haha. even the positions in their sleep. teehee. one weird thing abt my dad when he sleeps is that he rarely curls himself up. he just lie there still and straight. until the nxt morning. haha. aniwae, just when i was abt to walk out of the room, my mom came in. n she scolded me for switching the lights on. haha. well not a big deal. as usual my mom hates it when my dad wakes up in the middle of the night. bcuz once he wakes up, he nvr goes back to sleep and will start to wander arnd the house like a lost soul *that is if there's no interesting show on tv lah*. ahaha. cute lah my daddy. i love him so much! k lah. i think i need to take my medicine now. before i totally lose my voice. =))

``Mat Jenin

bitch lah.

I did not chase after your 'self-proclaimed' boyfriend.

he chased after me.

I know its hard being the rejected bitch. *winks*

``Mat Jenin

her. again.

ok guys. guess what. for the past hour i've been looking thru other ppl's blog and kept on clicking n linking clicking n linking [n reading of course.] when suddenly i came across her blog. ilyanti's blog i mean. didnt know she had one. well that's not the point. i looked thru her archives and to my pleasant horror [eh? ironic. =P] i see anwar's name everywhere. ahaha. ok not everywhere. here and there. i didnt know that she took such a long time to get over him. okok. i know. its my fault. [hey! its not my fault sak. i didnt know he had a gf in the first place when we got together ok??] hmm. come to think of it its not even my fault that he left her. anyway. in her posts she showed so much affection towards him after they broke up until i'm beginning to think that they never broke up in the first place. ahaha. well u know something gerl? u'll never know how to realli love and appreciate that special someone until u lose him. it applies to every relationship. so i suggest to everyone pls appreciate n cherish the person who loves u [even if u hated him] before its too late. good things dont just come rolling for nothing. anyway. the most interesting part of her posts was.. umm. hold on. let me just show u n u judge them for urself. n rmb. she's talking abt her EX.

"hi anwar... i'm glad i still have the time to write this message to you.. coz.. *sigh*i wont be here for long... in this message i would like to thank you for the love you gave me before you went to ite... take care of izyan well... i'd wish to see your wedding sey... and ya.. i didnt have the courage to tell you this when i'm with you.. i love you..."

see what i mean? u'll never know how to love someone until they're gone. for good. what? am i jealous? ahaha. a bit can be said lah. maybe not so much. cuz i'm not intimidated by her aktuali. she's nice lah. cant possibly be my enemy. =) ok. here's another one. this is the one that shocks me. *wonder why u never put down his NRIC number beside it.*

*in memories of my love; Muhd Khairul Anwar Bin Md Ya'akob
*to those who were thinking of their special someone in your past life.

hmm. correction. his father does not have a Md in his name. =)

P.S : so much had happen since you went away... i finally understand the meaning of the song Demolition Lovers, honey... my love was gone on 19 Sept 05... you found the perfect girl.. which is my neighbour... seeing you filled my day with happiness... your smile is as if it was especially for me... and the feeling still lasts till now... i never wanna let you go, honey... coz you're the one i love...

by then she should have been able to get over him right? wrong. it was then that i noticed that she took one whole year to get over him. [if she already had lah]. ahaha. she said her love was gone on 19 sept. the weird thing? i got together with him on the 11 aug. ahaha. well. i knew he had a gf a wk into our relationship. i dont know abt her. ahaha. and yeah. she's my neighbour. just across the road. hmm. again. learn to love before u lose. =)) aktuali there's a lot more to tell but i guess thats just enough to show how much she 'loved' my BOYFRIEND, then. she is so darn lucky that i get to know abt all these only now. cuz if i got to know abt all that before, she is so dead. well. not dead lah. the least i would do is ask her. =P

love is hard. yeah. tell me abt it. every single happy moment comes with a price. that includes relationships. no doubt i missed him. but i have to bear. if i wanna be happy. =) and i guess i will be when i roll back in school and be with all my crazy peeps! ahaha! they're the ones i missed the most! my lovers!! hehe. u guys will be in so much trouble when i come back cuz i missed fooling ppl n make myself look like one! haha. okies. thats all for now. i guess i'll update some time soon. =)

to her. get a move on. one gerl's loss is another gerl's gain.

``Mat Jenin

is it wrong?

all i wanted was a perfect life.

Is it too much to ask for?

``Mat Jenin

Dear you.

Dear You.

I missed you. you will nvr know how much i missed you but i realli do. you came into my life and created an impact that's so unforgettable. ever since, you never said you loved me. but i loved you. i cant deny that no matter how much i tried. maybe a lot of things are happening in my life that you will never know and understand.

but u could actually try couldnt u? maybe its just probably because you dont see that i love you. or maybe you pretended not to see that i love u. i dont know. i dont want to make assumptions. cuz every single time i do, it just comes back hitting me right through.

i can see. you'll never return back my love for you. its impossible isnt it? i understand. i always did. you have your own life to rule. the only thing that i can do to make you happy is to listen to you. and i did. i didnt complain.because i know i dont own you. but i do have the right to love you dont i? if i dont, you could have just told me long ago. you knew i loved u. dont pretend like you dont know. cuz it hurts.

ps. an everlasting love is the one that never gets returned.

``Mat Jenin

worn out. from waiting.

haiyo. i just came back from my appt at the hospital. damn the doctor was so irritating. i was supposed to get my check up and go for an x ray. my appt was at 9 am. guess what time the doctor called me. 10.30 am. so pissed off lah sey. luckily the seat was comfortable enuf lah. haha. after the check up i had to wait *again!* for my x ray number to be called out. n the nurse in charge was so unaccomodating and unhygienic lah. like some kind of typical nyonya. ahaha. i would have smacked her face for the bad breath. =P. aniwae after my appt was over my parents brought me to eat at casuarina's place. i just love the paper thosai there!! it simply fulfills my every desire. the crisp. the curry. the aroma. ah. love it. =))

after that we went to school. to collect whatever stuff that had to be collected. and the huge stack of notes i received were shocking lah sey! i got 3 huge booklets of geography notes. and i'm gonna miss out on one of them throughout this whole term. damn. the sight of those notes really scared me sey. i wonder how my classmates r coping. hmm. they shud be doing well lah. clever ppl. i was the only slow one in class. since last year lah sey. ahaha. it was just my luck i got promoted. i dun think i'll have that kinda luck this yr. so i must work so hard that i squeeze the juice outta my brains. just to get promoted. *and hello its still not the a levels yet!* just when i thought life was already hard enuf. hmm.

ps. you owe me lunch, Mr Casanova.

``Mat Jenin

boredom kills.

so bored. the more i stay at home the more i feel like jumping out of the window. haha. this unnessasary confinement is worse than the sars quarantine. urgh! i am so agitated sey. i cant even go to school to collect my notes. n the worst part it i've not been exercising lah sey! i think i've gained a few more kgs *omg*! its been a while since i stepped in the gym. its like i can feel my babats accumulating n i hate it!! if i grow any fatter, even taufik batisah wun recognise me. ahaha! nah kidding. i just feel agitated lah dats all. so 'gian' to work out. =))

just now morning mdm rasiah called me. but i was sleeping. hehe. then she talked with my mum. i dun know what they both talked abt lah. nothing impt maybe. but ltr after that she msged me. she said my sastera peeps in school have already finished the 2nd chpt of the novel that we're supposed to do. and nxt wk they're moving on with the 3rd chpt oredi. damn lah. i'm so far behind. she reminded me to read the novel so at least i wun be lost when i come back to school. haha. n one thing that realli pissed me off is the fact that my novel is in my locker. AT SCHOOL! so irritating lah sey. how da heck am i supposed to read the book if its at school?? ahaha! dumb me lah. hmm maybe i'll just get one of my frens to get it for me lah. then my parents can go n collect it at school.

k lah. i wanna go and eat. so hungry lah sey. from yesterday never even had bite of food. haha! c u ltr ppl. *yum! curry chicken!*

``Mat Jenin

Sleepless nights.

darn it. its late and i still cant put myself to sleep. i wonder why i have not been having good nights' sleep for da past few wks. maybe even past few months. something is bothering me. but i just cant quite put my finger on it. hmms. good thing i have this page. easy for me to past my time.

well, i just hung up with hidir. he's been entertaining me for the past sleepless nights. haha. *to hidir-thnx!=P* we talked abt nothing special. except the part abt his 'love life'. that was pretty interesting. i think that was the one that kept me entertained. ahaha. he's so nice lah. but i wonder why instead of attracting girls, he repels them. =P maybe bcuz ur just naturally unappealing lah eh. haha. *winks*

feeling so damn hungry lah now. but lazy to cook. i just made myself a big mug of Milo and i am so hoping it can make me sleepy. cuz i'm tired and i wanna rest but i just cant shut my eyes. 2008 has turned me into a nocturnal creature i guess. haha. aniwae i missed school so much. its been a while since i ever stepped into that school. believe it or not i am eager *yes. EAGER.* to go back to school. i missed my assignments lah sey. and especially, i missed my friends. a lot. want me to list em down? haha. i guess i could since i have nothing else to do. =)

At Random;

07a3 =), hidayah, nurul, hannah, mel, crystal, ameera, fandy, hafiz mp, zati, fafa,

sha sha, zaidah, ainun, atika, azyan, qidah, handry, nadia, sumi....

well, i guess there's just too many lah. can't possibly put everything down here. haha. so yeah. there's just a rough idea of whu i missed. i hope i wrote ur name. if not i'm terribly sorie. i didnt mean to. its not that i've forgotten u but i just cant think right. =)) love u though. come to think of it, i didnt only miss ppl in my school. i missed my gerlfrens outside too. aina! i heard ur in singapore. missed u too! a lot. haha. aniwae, for these past wk, i've been getting rashes all over my hands and legs. u know why? haha. cuz i ate peanut butter. and i forgot that i'm allergic to it. *yikes* i only rmbered when i started scratching like mad the next day. ahaha. dumb me. i've been so forgetful these days lah. hmms. its late. i guess i shud be tossing arnd in bed tryina get some sleep instead of sitting here and wait for myself to get sleepy. nites.

...zzzzz...

``Mat Jenin

this is new. =)

woah. i didnt know that creating a blog was so difficult. *ehem. for an IT idiot like me.* at last i've done it. only a few things left here and there that's not done yet lah. for example my picture. i swear i don't know how to even put my picture into my profile. ahaha. that's the level of IT idiot i am at. right now i'm waiting for mr casanova to get home before he can help me. i've been waiting every since just now. he's probably still at school. haha. everybody's bz so i don't think i wanna bother them. so yeah. this is my new blog. not impressive but enough to satisfy a first timer like me. =P

``Mat Jenin