Every day.

Every single morning without fail,
I will msg or call you to check whether you've woken up.

Every single second without fail,
I will wonder what exactly are u doing,
And whether u are thinking of me.

Every single week without fail,
I will think of new ways to motivate you through your course of A Levels and make you happy;
Sending surprises, making gifts and giving you presents.

Every single hour without fail,
I will have to force and prevent myself from calling or msg-ing you,
I don't wanna disturb you too much.

And every single time when I am left alone,
Without fail,
I will convince myself that you do care about me the way I care about you, even if you actually don't.

Because I really love you.

Advertisment Seminit.

oak abe abe.

30th July 2010 ;
Projek Monolog Artistik.
@ The Arts House (Play Den)
.$22.

31st July ;
Diari Hitam - Bukan maksudku.
@ National Library (Possibility Room L5)
.FREE.

I'll be very very very very very busy for the next 2 weeks because of these concurrent events. Please do support me and my fellow friends by turning up for either one of these. To my loves, i'm sorry for not spending enough time with u guys. i promise that i'll make it up to u people on day. (:
oh and if u need more information, please call or msg me. or better still, fb.
HIDUP TEATER MELAYU!

``Mat Jenin

Jiwang sikit.

oak abe abe.

hari ni aku nak mengucapkan terima kasih kepada beberapa orang.

Hidayah Manan.
Hafiz Yusof.
Yus Handry.

Terima kasih kerana setia berada di samping aku tatkala susah, tatkala senang. Korang lah kawan sejati aku. Aku takkan pernah lupakan korang sampai bila2. Nanti kalau kita dah kahwin, kita jodohkan anak2 kita antara satu sama lain k. tapi aku tak nak kahwinkan anak aku pada anak hafiz. sebab nanti cucu aku keluar tak handsome.

Anyways.

Aku juga nak berterima kasih kepada lagi seorang insan teristimewa dalam hidup aku.

Zulkifli Hassan.

Walaupun awak banyak buat saya pening kepala, awak tahu yang saya tetap sayangkan awak. Terima kasih sebab sudi terima saya seadanya dan berada di sisi saya apabila saya betul2 memerlukan tempat mengadu dan melepaskan ehem... ehem tu maksud dia geram. jangan nak fikir yang bukan2 ye korang.

Sampai kita berjumpa lagi di alam barzakh.
ish yan. selisih. di lain kali maksud saya.
oak abe abe.

``Mat Jenin

Save me

Save me please. Someone, anyone?

Saddened

Oak Abe Abe.

I just feel like crying. I just feel like wailing. To my heart's content. I soo need a hug. )':

<3

Rindu adalah minyak yang menyemarakkan lagi api cinta.
Jadi...
Cepat panggil bomba!
saya dah terbakar.
Hehe.

-Zulkifli.H

I love you, I swear. (:

Sibuk

Banyak sangat orang yang sibuk. Baik sibuk bekerja sampai terlupa pasal aku, atau yang sibuk sekolah sampai takde masa untuk aku. Yang lain sibuk bersekolah sampai takde masa untuk aku dan ade pulak yang sibuk nak amek tahu hal luar dalam aku. Aku pulak sibuk dengan isu2 dalaman aku. Baik drama, baik keluarga, baik kekasih mahupun hidup aku. Segala2nya sibuk. Sampaikan aku sendiri takde masa untuk berhenti dan berfikir, tentang baik buruk akibat keputusan yang aku buat sekarang.

Baikkk broooo.

D5D

oak abe abe.

DEPOT 5 DARA is in 2 more days!!

omg.

i hate the feeling of..
the heart in my mouth,
the butterflies in my tummy
and the questions in my mind,

but i love the feeling of..
the flowers in my heart.

((:

``Mat Jenin

feelings

oak abe abe.

i feel bad. fucking bad. you know why? you dont? well. neither do i. i've not been spending enough time with lahling. he got school, i got drama. oh hells. i cant wait for depot and aesop to end. no no no. its not because i hate the productions. u know how much i looove drama productions.. its only because i feel that i'm not giving enough time for my family, for my bf. my mom has started nagging. my bf has started asking. and all these are making me feel like a jerk. ok lah, not literally. but still. this feeling sucks. i hate it. oh june, please come quickly. ):

ok dah. actually i'm supposed to be working right now and..... ohh. work. wahlauwei.

``Mat Jenin

Diam.

Diam, aku kata diam!

.

Ada orang tak tau diam;

Mulutnya membebel, tak berhenti, tak tahu makna diam.

.

Ada orang pula tidak tahu duduk diam.

Merayap merayau ke sana sini, pantat tak tahu diam.

.

Ada pun orang yang pura-pura diam;

kerana takut, kerana patuh, kerana entah apa sebabnya, dia terus diam.

.

Ada juga yang secara semula jadi pendiam;

tanyalah apa jawapan sekalipun, mungkin dia senyum, namun dia tetap diam.

.

Ada pula yang terdiam membisu seribu bahasa;

terperanjat, terkejut, tidak tersangka, sehingga lidah kelu berkata-kata, maka dia pun diam.

.

Ada juga yang mendiamkan diri;

tidak mahu tidak rela mengundang fitnah salah faham, ikut pesan nabi lebih baik diam.

.

Ada bemaksudkan diam tanda setuju;

Tunduk tanda malu, maka apa-apa keputusan pun bererti ya, setuju, selagi kau diam.

.

Kalau kena diam membatu;

berbuallah kau dengannya, lebih baik layankan tembok, kerana sama-sama tidak beremosi, sama-sama diam.

.

Mungkin aku yg patut diam.

kerana selama ini aku bising sangat. seminit pun tak tau diam.

Mungkin aku yang patut diam, buang ezlink, jangan merayap ke mana-mana lagi, duduk rumah diam-diam.

.

Mungkin juga aku pura-pura diam;

kerana takutkan, segan atau tunduk patuh, maka aku harus diam.

.

Ataupun aku seharusnya menjadi pendiam;

walhal sebenarnya aku ni memang pendiam orangnya.

.

Aku mungkin terdiam;

kalau ada yang benar-benar bersungguh2, dengan entah apa kuasa, dapat melenyapkan sesuatu dalam sekelip mata.

.

Mungkin lebih baik mendiamkan diri;

maka tidak menimbulkan fitnah atau buruk sangka, senyum kambing sepenuh masa.

.

Atau berangguk-angguk diam;

layankan setiap gerak geri, biarlah biarkan apa sahaja; apa nak jadi, jadilah...

.

Namun tidak mudah untuk aku diam membatu;

kerana aku masih punyai perasaan. hatiku berdegup darah merah, bukan seketul batu simen dan bancuhan air tanah.

.

Diam membawa seribu makna tersirat. Bila kesabaran tergugat, terdiam tecegat.

jangan sampai ku perlu ulangi, sesal kemudian tiada berguna lagi.

...

..

.

``Mat Jenin

oak abe abe.

i am super busy with shooting and drama, i barely have time for my beloved boyfriend.
sorry lahling, please tell me u will be free this coming weekend.
i wanna go out with youuuuu.
GAAHHHH.

``Mat Jenin

oak abe abe.

up till today, my mind is still stuck with one thing. i shall not mention what is that 'thing' i'm talking about, but i just wanna say that its bothering me very very much. i need help, but i'm afraid. i need to talk, but i dont know how. wahlauwei.



ps. wo ai ni.
pss. i know ps has nothing to do with the post. hahaha.

``Mat Jenin

oak abe abe.
this will be a very short post.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
aku jatuh cinta... sekali lagi. (:

``Mat Jenin

oak abe abe.

this message goes out to one person and one person only.

TO YOU.
i lost ur number.
so try your best to get my new number.
i'll be waiting for ur msg. (:

``Mat Jenin

*screams*

oak abe abe!

i have good news and bad news.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
the bad news is i cant buy my AINO phone because its too expensive. :(((
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
the good news is..... I GOT AN iPHONE FOR FREE!!!!! *screams*

oh wells. anyway.
its the time of the month where i can cry laugh and shout for no reason.
dont blame me. blame the pms.


ps.
i love you dear uncle.
i love you dear family. (:

``Mat Jenin

Kepada yang bernama kemarahan

Terlalu jauh untuk mengusapi
seraut wajah bernama insan
walau di sini aku telah lama
berkunjung dan berhenti
pada suatu persinggahan.

Api yang semarak dan menyala
tidak mungkin dapat dipadam
setelah pintu kesabaran
terkunci mati dan diri
pun tersadai di lembah
nafsu yang menggila.

Tuhan
telah Kau taburi butir-butir keinsafan
mungkin setelah aku
meluangkan sedikit masa mengingati-Mu
dan menghumbankan sesuatu
sifat yang dibenci, yang dikeji.

``Mat Jenin

aku sayang korang. sumpah.

aku rindu korang. sumpah square. (:

``Mat Jenin

remember those times,
when we used to gossip about people.
we felt so invincible.

remember those times,
when we used to laugh and chat and bitch
about almost anything under the sun.
we felt as though nothing can tear us apart.

remember those times,
when i needed ur help,
and i dont know who to turn to,
but u were there, always there,
to lend me a listening ear, a crying shoulder.

remember those times,
when we keep debating about love,
and u didnt believe a single thing i say,
well look at where u are now,
so happy, so cheerful,
i am very proud of u.

i remember the time,
when i missed the most important date of ur life,
ur 20th birthday,
i never plan it to be that way
because we both know that i wouldnt miss it for the world.
but i did. i'm sorry.

i hope u remember those times we had,
because i will always do,
and i wont be able to forget it,
no matter how much i want to.

ps. dedicated to a special friend i'll always remember, NurAmirahRazak.

``Mat Jenin

oak abe abe.

honestly, i dont think u have moved on. ask yourself the same question, u will also think the same. but sacrificing now for the past? i dont think so. but what makes u think u can go on like this? what makes u think that dwelling will ever solve anything? come on man. u are a freaking guy so just stand up and face me will ya?

i'm sick of these nosey people and i'm sick of ur empty words. i can do and will do everything in my power to get back whatever i lost. but u? will u do the same thing? i dont think so. all because of ur fucking big ego. oh and ur fucking fat gf. penakut sak. puh-lease eh people. tolong lah jangan jadi kedi dalam hidup. and to the gf2 kat luar tu, tolong lah jangan nak queen control jantan kau. kalau takde ape2 yang kurang pada diri kau, asal kau takut jantan kau lari kat betina lain? lain lah kalau kau tau yang jantan kau tu tak suka dengan ape yang kau ade sekarang. so tak masuk akal ok.

anyway. the bottomline is that u should shut up and stop telling urself about how pointless ur life is and how things can be better. come up to me and spit ur words to my face. only then u can talk about making things better. oh and dont even expect me to give up my everything when u cant even give up ur pathetic, unsincere relationship for the one u claim to be ur everything. tolong eh. jangan pathetic. aku benci orang talam dua muka macam kau. lagi2 yang cakap tak serupa buat. betul2 tak bermakna hidup kau. kesian.

ps. gambar takde kena mengena dengan post ni.

pss. i just wonder why the hell i am soo in love with this utterly random but sweet guy. (:

``Mat Jenin