let me repost whatever i blogged abt.

Friday, September 19, 2008
currently i'm in school. just finished my sastera paper just now. it was f*cking hard. i swear. ok dah. no hope already. to all my year ones i think i'll meet u guys next year yah. =)). ok now for the serious part.i just saw her blog just now. n now i am feelin SUPER bad. SUPER guilty. i dont know why. i think because i'm in the wrong i guess? hello. yan. like OBVIOUSLY u're in the wrong. then who else? him? no right? gosh. i swear i never felt this way before. its like u're trampling on someone's dreams just to get on top of urs. f*ck lah kn. dah lah yan. u r SUPER bitchy siak. come on. dont be SUPER selfish. think of others can? for once lah yan. THINK OF OTHERS.ok dah. i'm tired. tired of all this SHIT. i've had enough. i dont care animore. i wanna stop thinking abt stupid shits alreadi. SUPER stupid shits.
period.

Thursday, September 18, 2008
i feel bad. very very bad. am i doing the right thing? am i doing something that i am NOT supposed to do? why is everybody asking me so much qns? is it my fault? i dont know. its not that i want to do this. its not that i asked for this stupid shit. it just happens.
today's incident made me wake up. it made me wake up to the fact that i'm being selfish. i'm being cruel. i'm being a hypocrite. n his decision is not helping. i'm a girl. n i understand how she should feel. because i felt it before.
damn u lah izyan.
i dont want to hurt other ppl. but if i dont, it will be to the expense of hurting myself. so which will it be izyan? others or yourself? its hard. and its UNFAIR. be it for me or for them both. i want this shit. really really badly. but i dont know if i am asking for something that is worth it. again i'm telling. i dont want to hurt other ppl. esp if they had nvr done anything wrong to me. shit. i just hate dilemmas.
boy, i soo need your help. i soo need your comfort.
i soo need your shoulders. pls dont leave me this way.
this feeling just utterly sucks.
you know i didnt ask for it right?
you know our situation right?
you know how hard this is for the both of us right?
pls tell me you do.
because i soo need YOU.

hmm. whatever u are doing shows how much u understood whatever i posted lah. can i just ask something? whatever u state at ur blog, is it stated by me? NO. its stated by a fren of mine who happens to pass by n gives her own point of view. n not me. yang terlibat dlm ni adalah saye zul dan amirah. tp knp yg lain sibuk2 ye? oh. kepo agknye. hee. ok lah. kasi chance lah kt krg. mcm deprived pulak kalau awk smua tk dpt luahkn perasaan terhadap saye. sile lah sile. kerana walau apa pun saye tau by 10 yrs down the road awk smua dah boleh berfikir dah sedar yg ape2 yg krg buat ni membosankn. so nnt pandai2 lah krg diam sendiri ye. saye byk lg hal penting yg boleh saye buat. i will keep this blog public as long as i can take it lah. if not i think i'll make it private so that u 'penyokong2' setia will not be able to interfere in my life. oh yes btw. awk nk lelong blog saye ye. hmm. kalau gitu saye pun nk lah lelong blog awk. =)))
OAK ABE ABE!

``Mat Jenin