bad.

i feel bad. very very bad. am i doing the right thing? am i doing something that i am NOT supposed to do? why is everybody asking me so much qns? is it my fault? i dont know. its not that i want to do this. its not that i asked for this stupid shit. it just happens.

today's incident made me wake up. it made me wake up to the fact that i'm being selfish. i'm being cruel. i'm being a hypocrite. n his decision is not helping. i'm a girl. n i understand how she should feel. because i felt it before.

damn u lah izyan.

i dont want to hurt other ppl. but if i dont, it will be to the expense of hurting myself. so which will it be izyan? others or yourself? its hard. and its UNFAIR. be it for me or for them both. i want this shit. really really badly. but i dont know if i am asking for something that is worth it. again i'm telling. i dont want to hurt other ppl. esp if they had nvr done anything wrong to me. shit. i just hate dilemmas.

boy, i soo need your help. i soo need your comfort.

i soo need your shoulders. pls dont leave me this way.

this feeling just utterly sucks.

you know i didnt ask for it right?

you know our situation right?

you know how hard this is for the both of us right?

pls tell me you do.

because i soo need YOU.

``Mat Jenin